Written by Anonymous
By definition an apology is a ʺwritten or spoken expression of one’s regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured or wronged anotherʺ. Although this is a literal and honourable definition, it doesn’t quite capture the true meaning behind a sincere apology. Over the years, humans have played with apologies so much that they are often meaningless. There is even a quote that says, ʺActions speak louder than wordsʺ. Is that accurate though? In many cases yes, but now, often when an apology is due, they are never said because we believe that actions are more significant. However, what happens if you’re no longer in contact with those who you’ve hurt? Does this mean that you’re off hook? That the apology is now void because you cannot ʺtake actionʺ, or that you haven’t spoken, so what would a little apology do? The answer is no, no matter how long you wait to make that apology; it could still have an incredible effect on you and those who you apologize too.
Apologizing to someone isn’t just for them, so that they know that you regret making them feel bad, or uncomfortable. It’s to help you let go, let you feel a weight off of your shoulder’s being lifted. I look back on myself in primary school, and all I can see is a child who often took their emotions out on others, even when unprovoked. In grade three, I had a best friend, they were incredibly kind… and I used them. I was jealous of a number of things that they could do, and I took it out on them. Years later, in grade eight, I had a moment, it sounds strange, but I will be eternally grateful for that moment. I was reflecting on myself and who I was, then I looked back and it was not a pretty sight. I began feeling more and more guilty for something I had done years back. I told myself that it was years ago, that we didn’t talk, let alone see each other, so an apology was useless. Finally, I realized that for me to move on I needed to apologize to them. It didn’t matter if they had moved on, or if they had already forgiven me. I needed to do this for myself, and it turns out, they appreciated it just as much as I. Now, I took the coward’s way out, I messaged her on Facebook, but it was a sincere message, I poured my heart out into it, and I could only hope that they felt it too. (I’m not saying this is a good way to apologize, I’m just saying if you’re a coward, like me, something’s better than nothing). Anyways, a couple of months passed and they hadn’t responded, but I could already feel a difference. I knew that they had seen the message from me and although they hadn’t acknowledged it, I knew that they knew that I was sorry. However, eventually they did reply, and they told me that they forgave me, but that’s not the point, because sometimes they won’t forgive you. All you can do is tell the truth and give them a sincere apology.
Now, I’m not telling you to apologize for every little thing that you do, or that when someone is expecting an apology, say one if you don’t mean it or if you don’t see what you did wrong. What I’m trying to tell you is that apologies are never too late, if sincere, they hold immense power to heal yourself and everyone around you.
I’m not proud of what I did, or who I was, but that made me who I am today, someone who will take action and try to understand, and begin to spread the power of apologies.